baby life: pre-baby vs post-baby Bank Holiday weekend

Bank Holidays are a little lot different since becoming parents. Where we would previously have taken advantage of the extra day or two off work and gone away, spent an extra day/night out, safe in the knowledge of an extra lie in, we now have no security of a lie in and so the long weekend looked rather different. This post by Hurrah for Gin sums it up, I think...

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, I would have woken up late on Friday morning. I would have languished in bed with my iPad - perusing social media. The hubby and I might have gone for a long leisurely brunch.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, we were woken at 6.30 to the sound of baby babble. The baby boy is a chatterbox! Followed by a breastfeed and then on with the day. Which included sitting in the car with my iPhone - perusing social media. While the baby boy slept. Followed by a walk and a quick coffee and cake before the baby boy got too restless. 

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, might have involved a boozy lunch, followed by an afternoon in a beer garden, or a walk with the hubby and a stop at a pub on the way home.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, and we celebrate getting through the day and bedtime with a G&T at home. Just the one. To be honest, I'm more likely to have another on a "school night" as a day in the office is less hard work these days!

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, we I would have enjoyed another lie in on Saturday morning. I'll be honest, the hubby isn't the best at lying in but he is good at bringing coffee and breakfast in bed! We might then have taken a day trip to explore a nearby town and have lunch out.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, wasn't too different! We didn't enjoy a lie in but I did have coffee brought to me in bed while giving the baby boy a breastfeed. We then took a walk in the park and spotted steam trains! Followed by lunch out.

Some things don't change... Dessert of dreams...!!

The baby boy had lots of fun playing on the vintage tractor at the lunch venue.

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, even getting dressed looked a lot different! I'd have been donning my glad rags in anticipation of catching up with my girlfriends over cocktails, or date night with the hubby. Maybe a jumpsuit with a pair of heels and statement earrings (oh how I dream of a big pair of statement earrings these days but I dare not wear them as the baby boy wants to grab everything!).

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, my attire is a little more practical - think wipe clean coated jeans (genius for mummies!!), a pair of trainers for running around after babies and the obligatory mummy-uniform striped top.

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, Easter Sunday would have been spent eating my body weight in chocolate eggs and then snoozing it off in the afternoon, followed by a trip to the pub or out for dinner.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, Easter Sunday was spent eating a lot of chocolate (maybe not quite as much as previously) and then getting the baby boy to snooze in the afternoon, followed by some playtime and then dinner for the baby boy before bed. Then the hubby and I snoozed on the sofa before an early night!

Pre- or post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, the Monday night blues are still very real! We had such a lovely weekend with our little Easter bunny and makes going back to work so much harder. But it's only four days until the weekend again!

*Disclaimer: This post is an entry in a competition for the Next Blogger Network.

#3things: you need to host a mummy meet up

Having hosted the very last playdate with my mummy tribe and their babies before I head back to work, I thought I'd share the top tips I've learnt for hosting a successful mummy meet up.

1. Tea and coffee. It is a fact universally acknowledged that maternity leave everywhere is fuelled by tea/coffee and cake. Why? Because new mums are always knackered and in need of a caffeine pick-me-up and a sugar fix.
2. Snacks. See above. Mummies need cake. And biscuits. If you're invited to a mummy meet-up - make sure you take cake too. It is always appreciated.
3. A large play mat. Yep, I've not forgotten the babies here. You'll need a mat that's big enough for all of the babies to be laid down on - so that the mummies can have their hands free for those hot drinks and sweet treats!! We have two large play mats, perfect for this:

The Tiny Love Super Mat (left) is massive ( we got ours from eBay for less than a tenner!) and the Nuby play mat (right) has lots of interesting flaps and bits to keep the babies entertained (I picked it up in Aldi).

Anything I've forgotten?

#3things: ways to survive the night feeds

If you're the mother of a newborn baby, you'll be enjoying enduring the night feed. Whether you're breast or bottle feeding your new baby, they'll be sure to be demanding you're doing it at least once (and more likely a few times) during the night. After nearly six months of night feeds and no sign of them stopping anytime soon, I feel like a bit of an expert! So I thought I'd share what I've learned about surviving them:

1. Make yourself comfortable. Whether you're feeding your baby in bed or in their room, make sure you're comfortable and supported. I used to feed the baby in bed and used extra pillows to create a comfortable back rest. Now I feed in the nursery and use an Ikea chair (an older leather version of this) - so comfortable. In the early days I found a breastfeeding pillow really helped too.
2. Hydrate. You need to be drinking a lot of water when you're breastfeeding anyway. Remember to have a glass or two of water to hand during the night.
3. Grab your phone. Or Kindle. Or whatever it is that will keep you awake. Particularly in the very early days of night feeds I'd feel guilty for being on my phone but also terrified of falling asleep. Now I've got over both and I use the time to catch up on social media, emails and prep for the day ahead. I use the time to write lists of everything I need to do the next day. It helps me to stop going over that same list when I go back to sleep. Win, win. I'd love to be able to read on my Kindle during night feeds as I really miss reading a book but I just get so sleepy.

How do you survive the night feeds? What's your top tip?

#3things: beauty hacks for new mums

Are you a new mum? Do you find yourself congratulating yourself for getting dressed before the sun goes down? I remember the first few months on my son's life, those days when I actually managed to have a shower, wash my hair and put make up on, I felt so much better. It might be superficial but it really did. Before becoming a mum I always had neatly painted nails - I was obsessed and would give myself a fresh coat of nail polish every few days. Now, brushing my hair counts as being "done". Over the past six months I've discovered a few tricks for looking put together in less time.

Nails. I no longer have time to file, buff and paint my nails once a fortnight, let alone every few days. Now, I file my nails once a week and then add a coat of No7's Ridge Filing Base which is fast drying and leaves nails matt and looking buffed.

Eyes. When you're dog tired from night time feeds you'll do anything to feel and look more awake. I love Botanics refreshing eye roll on for soothing and cooling tired eyes. I used to swear by this after a night out. Oh, how my life has changed!

Eyes continued. I'll also admit that I'm more than a little addicted to my mascara - and my eyelash curler. Or I was. I'm not one for regular trips to the beautician but I recently had a treatment that has helped to save me so much time that I might just be converted. I had a lash tint and curl. Genius. No need to curl my lashes every day or use mascara. Basically I've just been adding a little bronzer to give me a healthy glow and I'm ready to go.

What beauty tricks do you use to save you time?

style: mum coat

The cold and wet has arrived: it is now most definitely coat weather. This winter, I'm on maternity leave and so far, my maternity leave has been dominated by walks with the baby in his pram. I was lucky that he was born in the summer and that this particular summer has been lovely and dry but as we march on into winter, wetter days will be more frequent. With this in mind, I started my hunt for a mum coat. My mum coat had to tick a few boxes: 1. be warm, 2. be waterproof, and 3. be stylish. Not too much to ask?

I'd actually spotted this coat in Joules last winter and loved it but as I was pregnant, I didn't really feel like buying clothes that I'd soon be too big for. And am I glad I waited as I got it with 25% off a few weeks ago! It proved perfect for our recent weekend away in west Wales where walks in the countryside and along the beach were the order of the day.

If you're on the hunt for a mum coat this winter, look no further as I've found five of my favourites for you here:

Shop the post: 1. Luxe Black And Blue Parka Coat at Dorothy Perkins; 2. Uniqlo Light Weight Down Hooded Coat; 3. Hush Eskimo Parka; 4. Fat Face Cheshire Jacket; and 5. Stormaway Waterproof Coat at Joules.

more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation

When I read this post about Why my maternity leave isn't a freaking vacation, it completely struck a chord. As the writer says:

If you have just grown an entire human being inside of your body and then it rudely exits and begins to cry for three months, you should not be further insulted by someone calling that three months of trying to keep that crying newborn alive, again, with your body, a freaking vacation.

I thought I'd add a few more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation:

1. Money

Vacation = I would save up and have more money than usual so I can spend my days eating and drinking whatever and wherever I please

NOT a vacation = No money and living on beans on toast. Plus, on vacation I'm still being paid (on annual leave), on maternity leave I'm working 24/7 for next to no pay.

2. Shopping

Vacation = For me, a holiday often involves some retail therapy and buying new clothes. Checking out local market for local wares.

NOT a vacation = Spending what little money I have on nappies and baby wipes.

3. Accessories

Vacation = Wearing all the big hoops and dangly earrings I've saved for warm sunny days.

NOT a vacation = Having any hoop or dangly earrings ripped from my ears by tiny hands.

4. Iced drinks

Vacation = Lots of cooling iced drinks to combat the heat. Probably also accompanied by a mini umbrella!

NOT a vacation = A succession of cold teas and coffees that were made but never drunk due to a nappy needing a change or someone else wanting a feed!

5. Beauty routine

Vacation = Less make up due to holiday heat and tan. Less hair styling due to constant tips in the pool to cool off and then leaving it to tousle in a sexy manner.

NOT a vacation = Dark circles under my eyes and no make up due to the baby's constant need to be held and my lack of one handed make up application skills! As well as five day old hair that is now more dry shampoo than hair!

Don't misunderstand me, I am absolutely loving my maternity leave but, as the author of the original post says, it is definitely not a vacation.

why i was wrong when i said i didn't need mum friends

When I was pregnant I insisted that I didn't need any more friends.

My husband suggested we sign up for NCT classes to meet other expectant mums and dads. I wasn't keen. I already had enough friends and many of them were mums anyway. I didn't need any more friends.

My husband was persuaded not to sign up for NCT by the prices! I'd won. We weren't going to make any new friends. And I didn't need any more friends.

Or so I thought.

Then my baby arrived and I suddenly realised that I really really did need mum friends.

When you're a new mum, everything is scary and confusing. Having friends who are going through the same thing is such a relief. Having friends with whom you can share stories of explosive nappies and advice over cures for first colds helps make it all a little less daunting.

When you're a new mum to a tiny new human who needs feeding at all hours of the night, it feels like you're the only person in the world awake while everyone else is sleeping. Having friends who you can message at 3am and actually get a reply from, is comforting.

When you're a new mum, on maternity leave and at home all day on your own with a new baby, it is lonely. Having friends who you can call on for a coffee and a moan makes it all the more manageable.

Making new friends is scary at any age but when you're already in the throes of new motherhood, it can feel even more daunting.

Fast forward three months and I have a lovely circle of new (and old) mum friends.

You can read the rest of my post and how my mum friends have helped me during the past three months over at Selfish Mother.
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#3things: gifts for a mum-to-be

Got a baby shower to go to? Friend who's about to give birth? Or maybe a friend who's already given birth? Often around this time, mums-to-be and new mums can get forgotten in a pile of baby grows. I've picked out three gifts to make those mamas feel extra special:

1. If you haven't heard of the amazing site Don't Buy Her Flowers - get on over and check it out. Don’t Buy Her Flowers was founded with a simple aim: to provide thoughtful gift packages for new mums because they deserve something lovely just for them. How nice is that? There are lots of gift options but I like this Care Package, complete with magazine and chocolate!
2. This Maternity Essentials Hospital Set by Asos is ideal for any mum-to-be. I'd totally wear the nightdress for daywear too - in either outfit you'll feel ready for visitors in those early days after having your baby. The eye mask will help you to sleep in the hospital ward - they can be quite bright even at night. And the socks are something you'll forget to pack but you'll be surprised about how cold you can get.
3. The Boots Mum to be Essential Kit has all of those toiletries you need postpartum. The maternity pads and breast pads have long since been used from my pack but I'm still using the nipple cream. And although I didn't have too many stretch marks, the oil is really nicely moisturising.

Last but not least, if you're in a real bind over what to buy your mum-to-be friend, buy her chocolate! I didn't realise what a great gift this was until a couple of weeks postpartum and was needing snacks while breastfeeding - chocolate is a must!

Mama to be bunting via Etsy

style: what to wear when breastfeeding #3

This week, it's all about the shirt for breastfeeding. It seems like the obvious choice but that doesn't mean it has to be boring. I'm actually loving the excuse to wear all of the shirts in my wardrobe. I seem to own a fair few but don't think that pre-baby I was all that keen on wearing them. I'm so glad I didn't ever get rid of them as they are certainly coming in handy now.

The jeans are still my maternity jeans. I'm still finding I need the band because of my c section scar which is a little uncomfortable from time to time and the band means that it's not rubbed. I'm hoping I can get back into my old jeans soon though.

Shop the post (left to right): white stripe sleeveless shirt; mint green sleeveless shirt; and pink stripe rolled sleeve shirt.

and then there were three

On 1 July, our little man arrived. After nine months of waiting, we met our son.

To say it didn't go to plan would be an understatement. I had never really intended to have a plan and had thought I'd try and go into the whole process with an open mind. But I did know that I wanted to give birth at our local midwife led unit in the town where we live and that I wanted to try the birthing pool. In the end, neither was an option.

After my waters broke (a trickle, not a gush!) in the early hours of Thursday morning, I was booked for induction at the consultant led unit at the main hospital in the next town for the Friday afternoon. I didn't make it to then, as in the early hours of Friday morning there was blood in my waters and I was told to come straight in for induction.

The induction process was daunting and I'm not sure that it was ever fully explained to us why or how it would happen. As such, within hours of being put on the drip to get my contractions going, I was exhausted and totally spaced out from the gas and air. Even the consultant told the midwife that I was in no state to give birth. Which was really encouraging!

After a shot of pethadine, which didn't do much, I opted for an epidural. This definitely helped me to rest and get some energy back. But the baby didn't like the strength of the contractions. It also turned out that after 10 hours, I had dilated no more. So late in the evening it was decided that a caesarean delivery would be the best option for the baby. I'll be honest, it was such a relief at that point!

The caesarean was actually the most positive part of the whole day. Everyone in the operating theatre was wonderful and supportive. They explained everything and were all very upbeat. In the end, the birth of our baby boy was a pretty positive experience. Even if I was left battered and bruised.

Unfortunately baby boy had to go to neonatal for his first night but I was lucky to spend most of it with him, nursing him and soothing him. The hospital provided an amazing service and the breastfeeding support was spot on. I knew before I had my baby that I wanted to try breastfeeding but was under no illusion that it would be easy or that it would work. But the nurses in neonatal and the postnatal wards were so supportive.

I'll confess now that even after nearly three weeks, I'm still processing the fact that my little boy's birth wasn't anything like I expected. I'll be sure to come back to this subject and my other thoughts on being a new mum soon.

style: full term and maternity leave

On Monday I was officially full term - 37 weeks. Yesterday I started my maternity leave. I'm not going to lie, this heat is the worst when you're pregnant. My feet are like balloons - I don't have ankles anymore! Sleep - which is not easy during pregnancy anyway - it now completely elusive. So I am glad to have finished work and am able to nap during the day now. But apart from napping, what else am I meant to be doing while I'm on maternity leave and before the baby arrives? Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time. But apart from enjoying it - how should I go about doing that? Any suggestions welcomes!

This is dress is from New Look. I bought it for a wedding we went to a few weeks ago. I searched high and low for something to wear that I would feel comfortable in and that wouldn't cost the earth (you might remember this post?). I found a fair few that ticked the first box but were very pricey. This dress was really well priced and wasn't so dressy that I couldn't wear it again over the last remaining weeks of my pregnancy and really get my money's worth. Maxi dresses are all I'm living in right now.

pregnancy post: the final countdown

On Monday I was officially full term - 37 weeks. It feels quite momentous to get to this point. But now the waiting really begins.

I finish work today. This makes me happy because the recent warm weather has left me struggling to cope with 8+ hours in the office. And sitting at a desk for long stretches has also left my lower back in pain too. But I'm also apprehensive about how I'll spend my time between now and when the baby arrives.

I'm not very good when it comes to surprises and not knowing. So the concept of waiting for the baby to arrive when it's ready is quite difficult for me to get my head around. It really could arrive anytime now, in the next five weeks!

I am determined not to sit around the house, waiting for labour. But at the same time, I'm tired and uncomfortable. Anyone got any tips for keeping busy without exhausting myself while on maternity leave?

pregnancy beauty: clarins mum to be spa treatment

Two weeks ago was my birthday. My husband very kindly treated me to a day out in Birmingham. He told me he'd booked me a surprise for the morning and that we'd then go for lunch.

My surprise treat was a mum-to-be spa treatment at Clarins based in Selfridges. It was heavenly and exactly what I needed.

I have been to Clarins spas before and have always found them to be the nicest, cleanest and offer the best service.

The mum-to-be treatment included: a back massage, a facial, a shoulder and neck massage, arm and hand massage, leg and foot massage and an oil rub on the bump to help stop stretch marks.

For the back massage, you are on a stool, leaning over a pile of pillows on the treatment bed. For the rest of the treatments you're on the bed, at an angle (similar to the angle my midwife usually has me at at my antenatal appointments).

The products that Clarins use always smell divine.

It can feel a little intimidating to strip off at 35 weeks pregnant but they offer you the space to get ready and provide a robe (to wear backwards over your bump) for the back massage and then cover you with multiple towels for the other treatments and just expose the necessary parts. They will also ask you if you're comfortable with each treatment before they start. So if you're not so keen on someone rubbing your bump, you can pass on that.

The beautician who did my treatments told me that they offer the package to anyone, right up to the end of the pregnancy. I have to admit that if it wasn't nearly an hour from home, I'd be very tempted to go back for another one once I start maternity leave later this week.

Have you tried any mum-to-be packages?

happy mother's day

To all the fabulous mums out there - and mums-to-be!