#3things: to look forward to about being back at work

Today I survived my first day back at work after my maternity leave. After spending 8 months at home with my baby boy, I am now officially a working mum. Let the mum guilt begin!

In an effort to remind myself why it's not so bad to be back in the office, I've compiled my top three reasons why being at work isn't so terrible after all:

1. The commute. Yep, it starts before I'm even at work. I get to listen to the radio and music without any crying or shouting. 
2. Hot coffee. Whenever I want. This is a revelation. At home with the baby boy, I usually end up making a coffee about three hours after I actually first wanted one and then manage to drink it around 30-45 minutes later, cold. At work, I can make a coffee practically any time I want and drink it hot.
3. Lunch break. Again, lunch is usually something thrown down me about 3pm, if I remember! Today I ate when I was hungry and even had a walk into town and a mooch around the shops, on my own without a tired and cranky baby.

All that said, I couldn't wait to get home to my baby and give him his dinner and bedtime bath and have a cuddle and play together.

#3things: you need to host a mummy meet up

Having hosted the very last playdate with my mummy tribe and their babies before I head back to work, I thought I'd share the top tips I've learnt for hosting a successful mummy meet up.

1. Tea and coffee. It is a fact universally acknowledged that maternity leave everywhere is fuelled by tea/coffee and cake. Why? Because new mums are always knackered and in need of a caffeine pick-me-up and a sugar fix.
2. Snacks. See above. Mummies need cake. And biscuits. If you're invited to a mummy meet-up - make sure you take cake too. It is always appreciated.
3. A large play mat. Yep, I've not forgotten the babies here. You'll need a mat that's big enough for all of the babies to be laid down on - so that the mummies can have their hands free for those hot drinks and sweet treats!! We have two large play mats, perfect for this:

The Tiny Love Super Mat (left) is massive ( we got ours from eBay for less than a tenner!) and the Nuby play mat (right) has lots of interesting flaps and bits to keep the babies entertained (I picked it up in Aldi).

Anything I've forgotten?

#3things: i've learnt on maternity leave

If you're about to embark on your maternity leave (or, even part way through), these are the three things (plus, one bonus extra) I wish I could go back six months and tell myself.

1. Don't worry if you don't enjoy every moment. You will be told a lot to "enjoy every moment because it goes so quickly". There will be days when you cherish every moment with your newborn. But there will be many more when you wish the time would go quickly. When in your sleep deprived and poo-stained state, you will wish with every fibre of your aching and exhausted body that time would go really, really quickly. This is normal. It does not make you a bad mother. 
2. Find your mum tribe. My mum friends have saved me and absolutely made my maternity leave. I have written about my mum friends and why I need them over on Selfish Mother. It took me a while to find my mum tribe but without them I would have found my maternity leave very lonely.
3. The chores can wait. I'm going to completely contradict myself and say, although you won't enjoy every moment, there will be many moments to cherish. Cherish them and forget the housework. The washing and the cleaning and the ironing can all wait - your growing and developing baby won't wait. Play with your baby, sit and stare at your baby as it sleeps, take walks with your baby and have play dates with your baby. Basically, do everything but the housework. 

Finally, an added bonus bit of advice for your maternity leave - get a good coat and boots. If you're anything like me you'll find that staying home with the baby will see you going mad. Having a baby and being at home all day brings a whole new meaning to stir crazy. I head out for a walk with the baby in the buggy (was the pram to begin with) twice a day, come rain or shine. Therefore a good coat and good boots have been a necessity. I treated myself to this waterproof and warm Joules coat as soon as autumn hit and have been stomping around in my favourite ankle boots for the past few months.

#3things: ways to survive the night feeds

If you're the mother of a newborn baby, you'll be enjoying enduring the night feed. Whether you're breast or bottle feeding your new baby, they'll be sure to be demanding you're doing it at least once (and more likely a few times) during the night. After nearly six months of night feeds and no sign of them stopping anytime soon, I feel like a bit of an expert! So I thought I'd share what I've learned about surviving them:

1. Make yourself comfortable. Whether you're feeding your baby in bed or in their room, make sure you're comfortable and supported. I used to feed the baby in bed and used extra pillows to create a comfortable back rest. Now I feed in the nursery and use an Ikea chair (an older leather version of this) - so comfortable. In the early days I found a breastfeeding pillow really helped too.
2. Hydrate. You need to be drinking a lot of water when you're breastfeeding anyway. Remember to have a glass or two of water to hand during the night.
3. Grab your phone. Or Kindle. Or whatever it is that will keep you awake. Particularly in the very early days of night feeds I'd feel guilty for being on my phone but also terrified of falling asleep. Now I've got over both and I use the time to catch up on social media, emails and prep for the day ahead. I use the time to write lists of everything I need to do the next day. It helps me to stop going over that same list when I go back to sleep. Win, win. I'd love to be able to read on my Kindle during night feeds as I really miss reading a book but I just get so sleepy.

How do you survive the night feeds? What's your top tip?

#3things: beauty hacks for new mums

Are you a new mum? Do you find yourself congratulating yourself for getting dressed before the sun goes down? I remember the first few months on my son's life, those days when I actually managed to have a shower, wash my hair and put make up on, I felt so much better. It might be superficial but it really did. Before becoming a mum I always had neatly painted nails - I was obsessed and would give myself a fresh coat of nail polish every few days. Now, brushing my hair counts as being "done". Over the past six months I've discovered a few tricks for looking put together in less time.

Nails. I no longer have time to file, buff and paint my nails once a fortnight, let alone every few days. Now, I file my nails once a week and then add a coat of No7's Ridge Filing Base which is fast drying and leaves nails matt and looking buffed.

Eyes. When you're dog tired from night time feeds you'll do anything to feel and look more awake. I love Botanics refreshing eye roll on for soothing and cooling tired eyes. I used to swear by this after a night out. Oh, how my life has changed!

Eyes continued. I'll also admit that I'm more than a little addicted to my mascara - and my eyelash curler. Or I was. I'm not one for regular trips to the beautician but I recently had a treatment that has helped to save me so much time that I might just be converted. I had a lash tint and curl. Genius. No need to curl my lashes every day or use mascara. Basically I've just been adding a little bronzer to give me a healthy glow and I'm ready to go.

What beauty tricks do you use to save you time?

#3things: the essential teething kit

The baby boy is five months old (where did that time go?) and he's definitely teething. In fact, he's been for weeks now.

He doesn't really cry about it too much - except a little at bedtime. But you can tell it's happening because he's gnawing on his fingers a lot and his cheeks are quite flushed most of the time too. Plus there's a lot of dribble - oh my, the amount of dribble!

Over the past few weeks I've put together my essential kit. Here are my top three things to tackle the terrors of teething:

1. Teething toys. We've got a couple of these - Max the Frog from MAM and Sophie La Girafe.  Sophie is a classic - go to any baby class and at least half of the babies will have a Sophie! Max is a new one for us but is definitely a favourite. His bright colour and small size make him especially appealing to the baby. 
2. Dribble bibs. Self explanatory really. We go through up to five a day when it's really bad. We've got so many dribble bibs, from cheap multi packs to ones with a teething triangle incorporated. 
3. Teething gel. i use a lot of this (particularly at night when I'm tired and the baby has been up a few times already) and it does really seem to work. It makes my finger go numb so I'm guessing it does something to the baby's gums.

Otherwise, he's mainly using his fingers to gnaw on.

Have you found anything that works?

Disclosure: we were sent Max the Frog by MAM to try out. All views all our own.

#3things: gifts for a mum-to-be

Got a baby shower to go to? Friend who's about to give birth? Or maybe a friend who's already given birth? Often around this time, mums-to-be and new mums can get forgotten in a pile of baby grows. I've picked out three gifts to make those mamas feel extra special:

1. If you haven't heard of the amazing site Don't Buy Her Flowers - get on over and check it out. Don’t Buy Her Flowers was founded with a simple aim: to provide thoughtful gift packages for new mums because they deserve something lovely just for them. How nice is that? There are lots of gift options but I like this Care Package, complete with magazine and chocolate!
2. This Maternity Essentials Hospital Set by Asos is ideal for any mum-to-be. I'd totally wear the nightdress for daywear too - in either outfit you'll feel ready for visitors in those early days after having your baby. The eye mask will help you to sleep in the hospital ward - they can be quite bright even at night. And the socks are something you'll forget to pack but you'll be surprised about how cold you can get.
3. The Boots Mum to be Essential Kit has all of those toiletries you need postpartum. The maternity pads and breast pads have long since been used from my pack but I'm still using the nipple cream. And although I didn't have too many stretch marks, the oil is really nicely moisturising.

Last but not least, if you're in a real bind over what to buy your mum-to-be friend, buy her chocolate! I didn't realise what a great gift this was until a couple of weeks postpartum and was needing snacks while breastfeeding - chocolate is a must!

Mama to be bunting via Etsy

#3things: nobody told me about after giving birth

Nobody told me you can’t use toilet paper
Nobody told me that you bleed
Nobody told me you might need a secret place
where you can scream.

My mother in law gave me a book for my birthday (at 35 weeks pregnant) called Nobody Told Me, by Hollie McNish. Nobody Told Me chronicles three years and nine months of poet Hollie McNish’s life from finding out she was pregnant, through to becoming a mother. I've been reading the book in realtime - so at the stage that I'm at, as each time I've read on, it's started to freak me out!

If you're pregnant, you might be advised to look away now! There's probably a reason that nobody talks about this stuff until afterwards but to be honest, sometimes it's good to be prepared.

1. You'll be losing fluids. Think your waters breaking is a worry? Turns out that's nothing compared to what happens after giving birth. Make sure you stock up on maternity pads because however you give birth (vaginally or caesarean) you will bleed. And for the first few days, at least, it'll be pretty heavy. You'll also find that there is a whole lot of other fluid to get rid of from your body. My feet swelled up like balloons for a good few days - the best way to get rid of them was to sleep flat on my back with my feet raised up on a few pillows. Add on to that the night sweats - as well as your feet swelling, you'll be sweating out all of those fluids every night. Seriously, as if you didn't have enough to deal with after giving birth!
2. You'll still look pregnant. And you might feel like you're still in labour. For the first few days (at least) you'll still look about six months pregnant. And you'll continue to look pregnant for weeks afterwards. Unless you're a model and you snap straight back into shape within days. But who really does that? Six weeks later, I've returned to my pre-baby weight but still have a pretty sizeable bump! As your bump does start to go down, you'll feel contractions as your uterus begins to shrink back. If you're breastfeeding, these contractions will be most noticeable as you're feeding.
3. You will cry! A lot. The first 24-48 hours, you'll be on an adrenaline high (as well as high on whatever pain killers they're giving you) and will be feeling so elated over what you've done and the baby you've got. Then suddenly on the third day (usually when your milk comes in - whether you're breastfeeding or not) you will cry. You'll suddenly realise that you have a baby. And that you are responsible for this small person for the next 18 years - at least. And that will scare the **** out of you. I cried for two weeks, nearly constantly. The baby blues - as this period is known as - are so common that they are considered completely normal and are not to be confused with postnatal depression (PND). PND normally occurs four to eight weeks after giving birth but can start any time in the first year after giving birth. If you think you might be suffering from PND, you can find out more here.

What surprised you about after you'd given birth?

#3things: helping me to fake the 8 hours sleep look

The baby is sleeping really well - for a four week old. But the breastfeeding means that I'm up two or three times a night - and have been for the past month. So right about now, I'm not looking too fresh come the morning. So I've found a few things that help to fake it - and I thought I'd share them.

1. Washing my hair (and even just showering) is proving difficult with a newborn who doesn't like to be left on his own for even a second while I jump in the shower! So I've been relying on dry shampoo A LOT. This Extreme Volume dry shampoo by CoLab (which comes from a collaboration with Ruth Crilly of A Model Recommends) is my newest find - it smells divine and helps to rejuvenate my hair - even after four days!
2. Mascara is a must for making me look awake in the mornings. An eyelash curler really helps too. Right now I'm loving this Limited Edition Bourjois Tropical Festival Volume Clubbing mascara (which is on offer right now) - it really helps to curl my lashes and makes my eyes look wide awake (or a little awake!).
3. Finally, this Rimmel London Sculpting Palette by Kate Moss is a new addition to my make up bag and I totally love it. I wanted to try it for a while and picked it up as a little treat earlier this week. I've not actually used it to contour yet (no time!) but I have been using the highlighter and blusher every day this week and both give me a lovely glow.

Any other tips for looking awake after a night of newborn feeds and nappy changes?

3 things: to do on maternity leave

Or 5 things! I wrote last week that I was finishing at work and beginning my maternity leave. It's been a little weird not going into work every day. I've felt a little lost.

I had really mixed feelings last week as I approached my last day in the office until next year. Since I graduated a decade ago, I have worked continuously. I began to worry what it would mean for my career and the job I love to have this break. Your job tends to define you, and for the next half a year, or so, I won't have that. I was worried about the effect the break would have on my career prospects as before I found out I was pregnant, I had been looking for my next step and that had to be put on hold when we discovered we would be having a baby! I'm really lucky that my husband is really supportive and understands my apprehension about the next phase of our lives. He is also going to share my maternity leave with me, so that I can go back to work a bit earlier and enjoy a couple of months, without worrying about childcare, to get back into the swing of it.

Back to maternity leave. I've been trying to ensure that I have something specific, either to do at home, or someone that I'm seeing each day, so that I don't get too despondent as I await the arrival of our baby.

1. I have been watching a fair amount of TV. Love Island has become a bit of an obsession - trash TV is always good when you're exhausted. Plus, it doesn't matter if I fall asleep halfway through!
2. I've been trying to make some batch meals for the freezer. I'll admit, so far, I've managed to make a huge portion of bolognese and made some of it into lasagne. And that is it. But we have a couple of meals in the freezer at least.
3. Obviously I've been doing some blogging - and catching up on all of the blogs I've missed recently.
4. Yesterday, my first official day of maternity leave (after a couple of days of annual leave last week), I treated myself to breakfast in bed - such a luxury! Sometimes, you've got to treat yourself.
5. Finally, I've been packing my hospital bag. As this is my first baby, I have no idea what I need really. I've found a few lists online and used these to help me pack our bags. I've packed three bags - is that excessive? It feels it! One for me during labour, one for me and baby after labour and one for my husband! I'll share the contents soon.

Any tips on how to stay sane during this waiting period before the baby arrives?

3 things: they don’t tell you about pregnancy

There are a few obvious things that happen when you’re pregnant – you get bigger, your hormones make you go a bit mad, you might get morning sickness, there’s foods and drinks you’ll have to give up, you might get cravings, a constant need to pee. All of these things I know and have experienced to a degree. But there are other things that they don’t tell you. It’s like all the women who have been pregnant have made a pact to not mention some of the “symptoms” of pregnancy as it might put off those who have yet to procreate. These are three of the most surprising things that have happened to me since I have been pregnant – they won’t necessarily happen to you but they are normal (apparently, according to the pregnancy books and websites I have read):

1. I feel hungover. All. The. Bloody. Time. Or nearly all the time. I have flashes of what it might be like to have the “pregnancy glow” but for 99.9% of my pregnancy I have woken to feel like I had had more than a few G&Ts, accompanied by a good few Jägerbombs and a 3am bedtime. The reality of the situation is so far removed – a 9pm bedtime with a glass of milk. So very rock and roll.
2. My nose runs all the time. I can’t leave the house without first making sure I have a lot of tissues to see me through the day! This, as well as nosebleeds, is apparently fairly common in pregnancy. Doesn’t make it any more attractive!
3. Dry skin. This isn't just any dry skin either - this is scaly, snake-like dry skin. As someone who has never suffered too much with dry skin (a little on my legs perhaps after shaving previously), this has been a revelation. I blogged before about the products I'm using but seriously, no amount of hand cream seems to be enough right now. Or lip balm!

3 things: helping me look awake!

If you’re working through the pregnancy you’ll know that, particularly in those first few months, when you don’t want to tell anyone but when you’re likely feeling your most tired and possibly nauseous, getting to the office and looking reasonable is a big deal. Here are a few of things that got me through my first trimester – when I was feeling really poorly. And are still helping me to look awake now, nearly into my third trimester!

1. Under eye concealer. Sickness, headaches and exhaustion are some of the slightly less glamorous effects of early and later pregnancy. And with these come tell tale dark circles. Fake it, with an under eye concealer. I use No7’s Instant Radiance Under Eye Concealer – so easy to apply with a built in brush system and a part of the Match Made collection so it will be matched to your skin tone.
2. Fake a glow. Almost immediately that I found out I was pregnancy my skin got really really dry (see my post here). The fatigue also means that my face often looks a bit dull too. To combat this I’ve been faking a healthy looking glow with Dior Diorskin Nude Tan Bronzing Powder (this was a treat to myself before my honeymoon last summer!).
3. Go bold. It’s the oldest trick in the box – wearing a bright lipstick to take the attention away from the rest of your face. I love MAC’s orange-red Lady Danger for a real pop.

3 things: I miss about not being pregnant

Last week I posted about 3 things I was missing because I'm pregnant. I quickly realised that there were a few more...

1. A cup of coffee. Particularly my morning coffee. I know I could still have a coffee once a day - or even, occasionally - but before I was pregnant, I used to have 4-5 cups a day to get me through the day. When I first found out I was pregnant, I came down with flu and completely went off coffee. Once I was feeling a bit better, I decided not to go back on it at all. But I do miss it.
2. High heels. My feet are already a bit swollen and bloated and even some of my flat shoes aren't very comfortable anymore. High heels are definitely out of the question. I didn't really wear heels that often before I was pregnant, but I miss dressing up in them now.
3. A good night's sleep. This is the thing I'm missing the most! My back and hip pain wakes me but even before that started, my hormones were waking me up every few hours during my first trimester. For someone who used to sleep like a log for eight hours a night, this was a shock to the system.

#3things: I'm craving right now

I didn't get any pregnancy cravings in the first trimester because I was busy being sick most of the time. The first half of the second trimester was pretty much the same. So it's been strange suddenly finding myself craving foods.

1. Right now, I'm constantly craving mango. It's weird because I'll be honest, they were not my favourite fruit before I was pregnant - I always found them a bit slimy and stodgy. But now I can't get enough of them!
2. Lasagne is something I did crave a lot in the first trimester. Carbs in general - pasta, bread, potatoes, etc.
3. Melon. Like the mango, I can eat a lot of this right now. Unlike the mango, I was more of a fan before I was pregnant. I think the melon (and maybe the mango too) might be a water/hydration thing?

#3things: I miss about not being pregnant

Sitting on the sofa the other evening, watching TV and thinking about how things have changed over the past few months and that got me thinking about the things I miss...

1. Brie - this is a weird one. I wasn't ever really that into brie before (I mean, I'd eat it and enjoy it) but almost the minute that I found out I was pregnant, I wanted brie - A LOT! Go figure!
2. Prosecco. This really isn't a weird one. For anyone who knows me, they'll know that I love prosecco! A glass of gorgeous fizzy bubbles is my idea of perfection. I miss that. A LOT.
3. My waist. Admittedly, this isn't quite how my waist looked before bump appeared but I really don't think I made the most of having a waist when I wasn't pregnant! I intend to change that after this little one is born!

#3things: last minute mother's day gifts

Mother's Day is literally just around the corner (it's Sunday, if you'd forgotten!). If you're looking for some last minute gift inspiration for your mum, look no further.

You could go with a card - and maybe some flowers. But why not go one step further. Here are my top three gift ideas for your mum this Mother's Day:

A spa day, voucher or treatment will offer your mum a bit of time out. You could join her for a spa day together, or let her have an hour or two of "me time" with a voucher for facial or massage.

Afternoon tea is a favourite in our family. Lots of places are offering afternoon tea for Mother's Day - just be sure to book in advance.

Or how about some jewellery? Something personalised will be a special keepsake for your mum for always. Check out not on the high street for more options.