breastfeeding friendly style round up

It's been a while. So let me explain. The baby arrived. And boy, did he turn our world upside down. But we're getting into the swing of it now and so I'm back on the blog. (Remember to follow me over on Instagram for more regular updates on life with two under two!).

Once again I'm breastfeeding my baby boy and so I thought I'd ease myself back into the blogging game with a weekly round up of breastfeeding friendly outfits from the high street. It's also apt that this week is National Celebrate Breastfeeding Week in England. I'll start today with my current five favs:

1. This boilersuit from Asos is perfect for the warm weather and the buttons make breastfeeding so easy. Unfortunately it comes up big and they don't have my size down left so I won't be able to take advantage.

2. Tu clothing by Sainsbury's has been a hot hit for breastfeeding friendly clothes this summer. This lemon print button down dress is ideal for the current heatwave!

3. A cotton shirt is a must for any breastfeeding wardrobe. It can be dressed for warmer weather - teamed with denim shorts - or cooler climes - with jeans and a vest top underneath.

4. I've just ordered this nursing specific sleeveless dress from H&M - it's in the sale right now and a bargain for £12!

5. Finally for this week is this zip front swimsuit from Marks and Spencer that I'm currently lusting after. It would be perfect for post swim feeds.

If you want more breastfeeding friendly outfit inspiration, check out my Pinterest board.

my breastfeeding story #celebratebreastfeeding

As it’s National Breastfeeding Celebration Week I figured that for once I might jump on the bandwagon and talk about my breastfeeding journey. It also seems fairly timely too that this weekend I will have been breastfeeding my baby boy for a whole year.

Before I continue I want to acknowledge that all too often conversations about breastfeeding descend into guilt, blame and judgement. Regardless of how you feed your baby, you’re doing the very best you can for your child. The problem for me is, that those mothers who want to breastfeed are not necessarily being enabled to do so (according to official figures, eight out of 10 women stop breastfeeding before they want to). And as a result, the UK now has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed before I even had children. While I was pregnant, I remember being asked by my midwife on numerous occasions who I intended to feed my baby and I always said that I wanted to try to breastfeed. I had many friends who wanted to breastfeed and for whatever reason – lack of support, tongue tie, etc – were unable to continue. I never felt confident that I would breastfeed but I knew I wanted to try. My reasons for wanting to try weren’t all that altruistic, yes, sure I knew it was good for the baby but also, it was free and quick – what can I say, I’m lazy and imagining being woken umpteen times a night sounded bloody awful, without having to also make up a bottle.

But I’ll be honest, I didn’t really give breastfeeding much more thought than that. And then suddenly after an exhausting induced labour, followed by an emergency caesarean, I had my baby boy in my arms and no clue what to do with him!

I was lucky and he latched fairly quickly – we just had a few tries and then we were away. It felt weird. So weird. And then within days, it hurt. So much. Coupled with a healing c-section wound, I felt utterly dejected. I remember feeling so uncomfortable in the final hot weeks of my pregnancy and eagerly looking forward to giving birth and suddenly getting my body back again. But that just didn’t happen. And I hated it.

It was hot and sticky and breastfeeding made me sweat more and I had a tiny little person attached to me for much of the day. My husband could only look on (and thank goodness that he had some time to himself while the baby fed – All. The. Bloody. Time!!).

For me, in the early days, breastfeeding felt lonely, painful and draining.

After chatting (read: breaking down) with the midwife 10 days in, I decided to set myself small, manageable targets. First, I would get to two weeks, then a month, then two. My mum kept telling me that one day soon I would look down and realise that I actually enjoyed it. I was incredulous. Enjoy it?! But she was right. About five or six weeks in and I looked down at this tiny little boy, feeding away happily and realised that not only did I enjoy it, I was beginning to love it. Even then, I felt that six months would be long enough.

Very nearly 12 months later and we’re still feeding. It’s down to one feed a day but neither of us is completely ready to give that feed up yet and I’m fine to wait a while.

The initial weaning at about seven months was my decision but it was based more on circumstance than emotion. I returned to work when the baby boy was eight months old and so knew that about a month before that I would need to start reducing his daytime feeding. I also got to a point where I could no longer face night time feeds. Since then we’ve been nursing first thing in the morning and at bedtime, but over the past couple of weeks we’ve dropped our morning feed.

I now feel as if I’m reaching a point where I wouldn’t mind if it came to an end. I’ll be sad not to have our quiet time together but I know we’ll still have cuddles.

There were many times that I nearly gave up in those early weeks, when my nipples were sore, when both the baby and I got thrust, when I was so tired and it felt like he’d never stop feeding. But now, a year on, I’m so glad I persevered.

#3things: you need to host a mummy meet up

Having hosted the very last playdate with my mummy tribe and their babies before I head back to work, I thought I'd share the top tips I've learnt for hosting a successful mummy meet up.

1. Tea and coffee. It is a fact universally acknowledged that maternity leave everywhere is fuelled by tea/coffee and cake. Why? Because new mums are always knackered and in need of a caffeine pick-me-up and a sugar fix.
2. Snacks. See above. Mummies need cake. And biscuits. If you're invited to a mummy meet-up - make sure you take cake too. It is always appreciated.
3. A large play mat. Yep, I've not forgotten the babies here. You'll need a mat that's big enough for all of the babies to be laid down on - so that the mummies can have their hands free for those hot drinks and sweet treats!! We have two large play mats, perfect for this:

The Tiny Love Super Mat (left) is massive ( we got ours from eBay for less than a tenner!) and the Nuby play mat (right) has lots of interesting flaps and bits to keep the babies entertained (I picked it up in Aldi).

Anything I've forgotten?

#3things: i've learnt on maternity leave

If you're about to embark on your maternity leave (or, even part way through), these are the three things (plus, one bonus extra) I wish I could go back six months and tell myself.

1. Don't worry if you don't enjoy every moment. You will be told a lot to "enjoy every moment because it goes so quickly". There will be days when you cherish every moment with your newborn. But there will be many more when you wish the time would go quickly. When in your sleep deprived and poo-stained state, you will wish with every fibre of your aching and exhausted body that time would go really, really quickly. This is normal. It does not make you a bad mother. 
2. Find your mum tribe. My mum friends have saved me and absolutely made my maternity leave. I have written about my mum friends and why I need them over on Selfish Mother. It took me a while to find my mum tribe but without them I would have found my maternity leave very lonely.
3. The chores can wait. I'm going to completely contradict myself and say, although you won't enjoy every moment, there will be many moments to cherish. Cherish them and forget the housework. The washing and the cleaning and the ironing can all wait - your growing and developing baby won't wait. Play with your baby, sit and stare at your baby as it sleeps, take walks with your baby and have play dates with your baby. Basically, do everything but the housework. 

Finally, an added bonus bit of advice for your maternity leave - get a good coat and boots. If you're anything like me you'll find that staying home with the baby will see you going mad. Having a baby and being at home all day brings a whole new meaning to stir crazy. I head out for a walk with the baby in the buggy (was the pram to begin with) twice a day, come rain or shine. Therefore a good coat and good boots have been a necessity. I treated myself to this waterproof and warm Joules coat as soon as autumn hit and have been stomping around in my favourite ankle boots for the past few months.

#3things: beauty hacks for new mums

Are you a new mum? Do you find yourself congratulating yourself for getting dressed before the sun goes down? I remember the first few months on my son's life, those days when I actually managed to have a shower, wash my hair and put make up on, I felt so much better. It might be superficial but it really did. Before becoming a mum I always had neatly painted nails - I was obsessed and would give myself a fresh coat of nail polish every few days. Now, brushing my hair counts as being "done". Over the past six months I've discovered a few tricks for looking put together in less time.

Nails. I no longer have time to file, buff and paint my nails once a fortnight, let alone every few days. Now, I file my nails once a week and then add a coat of No7's Ridge Filing Base which is fast drying and leaves nails matt and looking buffed.

Eyes. When you're dog tired from night time feeds you'll do anything to feel and look more awake. I love Botanics refreshing eye roll on for soothing and cooling tired eyes. I used to swear by this after a night out. Oh, how my life has changed!

Eyes continued. I'll also admit that I'm more than a little addicted to my mascara - and my eyelash curler. Or I was. I'm not one for regular trips to the beautician but I recently had a treatment that has helped to save me so much time that I might just be converted. I had a lash tint and curl. Genius. No need to curl my lashes every day or use mascara. Basically I've just been adding a little bronzer to give me a healthy glow and I'm ready to go.

What beauty tricks do you use to save you time?

five truths about having a new born

My baby boy is three and a half months old. Apparently this means that he is no longer a newborn. This makes me sad. But also makes me want to do a mini fist pump - I survived the fourth trimester!!

The passing of time got me thinking about a few things that I know to be true about having a newborn:

1. A new born (and an older baby) knows when you're about to eat and are suddenly hungry too.
2. The doorbell will always ring just as you get the baby to sleep.
3. They will be happy and content until you step into the shower or sit on the toilet and then suddenly they become a crying and screaming mess.
4. Yellow poo gets everywhere. Up the back. Up the front. All over you. Just as you're sitting with your bubba, both of you chilling out, you suddenly feel a rumbling and look down and see yellow poo all over them and you!
5. And on that note, you'll become obsessed with poo. You'll talk about poo to anyone who listens - the colour, the consistency, the regularity. You'll share photos of your baby's poo with your partner. You'll worry about how often your baby has a poo, what it looks like - everything. In essence, your life will become all about your baby's poo!

more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation

When I read this post about Why my maternity leave isn't a freaking vacation, it completely struck a chord. As the writer says:

If you have just grown an entire human being inside of your body and then it rudely exits and begins to cry for three months, you should not be further insulted by someone calling that three months of trying to keep that crying newborn alive, again, with your body, a freaking vacation.

I thought I'd add a few more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation:

1. Money

Vacation = I would save up and have more money than usual so I can spend my days eating and drinking whatever and wherever I please

NOT a vacation = No money and living on beans on toast. Plus, on vacation I'm still being paid (on annual leave), on maternity leave I'm working 24/7 for next to no pay.

2. Shopping

Vacation = For me, a holiday often involves some retail therapy and buying new clothes. Checking out local market for local wares.

NOT a vacation = Spending what little money I have on nappies and baby wipes.

3. Accessories

Vacation = Wearing all the big hoops and dangly earrings I've saved for warm sunny days.

NOT a vacation = Having any hoop or dangly earrings ripped from my ears by tiny hands.

4. Iced drinks

Vacation = Lots of cooling iced drinks to combat the heat. Probably also accompanied by a mini umbrella!

NOT a vacation = A succession of cold teas and coffees that were made but never drunk due to a nappy needing a change or someone else wanting a feed!

5. Beauty routine

Vacation = Less make up due to holiday heat and tan. Less hair styling due to constant tips in the pool to cool off and then leaving it to tousle in a sexy manner.

NOT a vacation = Dark circles under my eyes and no make up due to the baby's constant need to be held and my lack of one handed make up application skills! As well as five day old hair that is now more dry shampoo than hair!

Don't misunderstand me, I am absolutely loving my maternity leave but, as the author of the original post says, it is definitely not a vacation.

style: what to wear when breastfeeding #4

Who doesn't love a Breton striped tee? I know I have a whole host of such tops in my wardrobe. So it is no surprise that I also have this nursing striped top. In fact, this is one of my favourite tops that is specifically designed for breastfeeding. It is a dual purpose, maternity and nursing t-shirt from Marks and Spencer. I got the green stripe version in the sale and have since bought the blue version because it is just so good! (You can see it in action when I was pregnant here.)

If you're after some stripes for your nursing wardrobe, I've also found this Topshop double layered nursing dress - which also works while you're expecting.

Shop the post: Marks & Spencer Maternity Feeding Striped Top with Modal; and Topshop Maternity Stripe Nursing Maxi Dress.

#3things: helping me to fake the 8 hours sleep look

The baby is sleeping really well - for a four week old. But the breastfeeding means that I'm up two or three times a night - and have been for the past month. So right about now, I'm not looking too fresh come the morning. So I've found a few things that help to fake it - and I thought I'd share them.

1. Washing my hair (and even just showering) is proving difficult with a newborn who doesn't like to be left on his own for even a second while I jump in the shower! So I've been relying on dry shampoo A LOT. This Extreme Volume dry shampoo by CoLab (which comes from a collaboration with Ruth Crilly of A Model Recommends) is my newest find - it smells divine and helps to rejuvenate my hair - even after four days!
2. Mascara is a must for making me look awake in the mornings. An eyelash curler really helps too. Right now I'm loving this Limited Edition Bourjois Tropical Festival Volume Clubbing mascara (which is on offer right now) - it really helps to curl my lashes and makes my eyes look wide awake (or a little awake!).
3. Finally, this Rimmel London Sculpting Palette by Kate Moss is a new addition to my make up bag and I totally love it. I wanted to try it for a while and picked it up as a little treat earlier this week. I've not actually used it to contour yet (no time!) but I have been using the highlighter and blusher every day this week and both give me a lovely glow.

Any other tips for looking awake after a night of newborn feeds and nappy changes?

and then there were three

On 1 July, our little man arrived. After nine months of waiting, we met our son.

To say it didn't go to plan would be an understatement. I had never really intended to have a plan and had thought I'd try and go into the whole process with an open mind. But I did know that I wanted to give birth at our local midwife led unit in the town where we live and that I wanted to try the birthing pool. In the end, neither was an option.

After my waters broke (a trickle, not a gush!) in the early hours of Thursday morning, I was booked for induction at the consultant led unit at the main hospital in the next town for the Friday afternoon. I didn't make it to then, as in the early hours of Friday morning there was blood in my waters and I was told to come straight in for induction.

The induction process was daunting and I'm not sure that it was ever fully explained to us why or how it would happen. As such, within hours of being put on the drip to get my contractions going, I was exhausted and totally spaced out from the gas and air. Even the consultant told the midwife that I was in no state to give birth. Which was really encouraging!

After a shot of pethadine, which didn't do much, I opted for an epidural. This definitely helped me to rest and get some energy back. But the baby didn't like the strength of the contractions. It also turned out that after 10 hours, I had dilated no more. So late in the evening it was decided that a caesarean delivery would be the best option for the baby. I'll be honest, it was such a relief at that point!

The caesarean was actually the most positive part of the whole day. Everyone in the operating theatre was wonderful and supportive. They explained everything and were all very upbeat. In the end, the birth of our baby boy was a pretty positive experience. Even if I was left battered and bruised.

Unfortunately baby boy had to go to neonatal for his first night but I was lucky to spend most of it with him, nursing him and soothing him. The hospital provided an amazing service and the breastfeeding support was spot on. I knew before I had my baby that I wanted to try breastfeeding but was under no illusion that it would be easy or that it would work. But the nurses in neonatal and the postnatal wards were so supportive.

I'll confess now that even after nearly three weeks, I'm still processing the fact that my little boy's birth wasn't anything like I expected. I'll be sure to come back to this subject and my other thoughts on being a new mum soon.

maternity leave: painting nails

I've been so tired - or sick - for most of my pregnancy that one of my favourite things to do very quickly fell by the way: painting my nails. Before I was pregnant, my nails were very very rarely bare. In fact, I'd often paint them twice a week. Since last autumn, I've maybe worn nail polish twice.

But now that I'm a lady of leisure, I have cracked out my (extensive) collection of polishes. I have also added to them.

The two shades above are from Boots No7's latest summer collection: Candy Apples and Beach Blues.  No7 nail polish is always spot on - the shades are always on trend and the consistency is always easy to apply and long lasting. These two new shades deliver on all fronts.

And below is the battle of the classic reds. Trafalgar is a slightly pinky red, while Pandore is maybe more of a true red. I'm rocking Trafalgar right now!

3 things: to do on maternity leave

Or 5 things! I wrote last week that I was finishing at work and beginning my maternity leave. It's been a little weird not going into work every day. I've felt a little lost.

I had really mixed feelings last week as I approached my last day in the office until next year. Since I graduated a decade ago, I have worked continuously. I began to worry what it would mean for my career and the job I love to have this break. Your job tends to define you, and for the next half a year, or so, I won't have that. I was worried about the effect the break would have on my career prospects as before I found out I was pregnant, I had been looking for my next step and that had to be put on hold when we discovered we would be having a baby! I'm really lucky that my husband is really supportive and understands my apprehension about the next phase of our lives. He is also going to share my maternity leave with me, so that I can go back to work a bit earlier and enjoy a couple of months, without worrying about childcare, to get back into the swing of it.

Back to maternity leave. I've been trying to ensure that I have something specific, either to do at home, or someone that I'm seeing each day, so that I don't get too despondent as I await the arrival of our baby.

1. I have been watching a fair amount of TV. Love Island has become a bit of an obsession - trash TV is always good when you're exhausted. Plus, it doesn't matter if I fall asleep halfway through!
2. I've been trying to make some batch meals for the freezer. I'll admit, so far, I've managed to make a huge portion of bolognese and made some of it into lasagne. And that is it. But we have a couple of meals in the freezer at least.
3. Obviously I've been doing some blogging - and catching up on all of the blogs I've missed recently.
4. Yesterday, my first official day of maternity leave (after a couple of days of annual leave last week), I treated myself to breakfast in bed - such a luxury! Sometimes, you've got to treat yourself.
5. Finally, I've been packing my hospital bag. As this is my first baby, I have no idea what I need really. I've found a few lists online and used these to help me pack our bags. I've packed three bags - is that excessive? It feels it! One for me during labour, one for me and baby after labour and one for my husband! I'll share the contents soon.

Any tips on how to stay sane during this waiting period before the baby arrives?