differences between first pregnancy and second

Just over a year after giving birth and a week after celebrating the baby boy’s first birthday, I found out I was pregnant again. The idea of two babies under two was suddenly a reality and one that just as suddenly terrified me. But first of all, I have to deal with being pregnant with a baby in tow. I thought being pregnant the first time around was hard but I had no idea just how different it would the second time. For me, these are the main differences between my first and second pregnancy:

Me time

First time around, I could pamper myself, have a rest and put my feet up whenever I wanted.

Second time, the only time I have a chance to put my feet up is once the baby boy is in bed (or napping). And then, I have a million other things I should be doing – washing for the millionth time, cleaning, clearing toys.

Googling

First time around, I googled EVERYTHING. And I mean, EVERYTHING. Strange twinge in side? Googled it. Gassy feeling or movement? Googled it. What can I eat/not eat? Googled.

Second time, I barely have time to respond to texts these days – Google is a distant memory.

Worrying

Sort of the same thing. But first time around, I worried about everything.

Second time, did I mention that I just don’t have the time?! If I stop and think for a moment, then I do start to worry about things again. But this is one of the few advantages of the second time around, that I don’t really have too much time to worry about the baby. Sorry number 2 – I have a feeling this might be a sign of things to come.

The bump

First time around, I could have hidden my pregnancy for at least four months without anyone realising there was a baby growing in there!

Second time, yeah, there was no hiding the bump this time! By 13 weeks it was already well and truly there and the maternity jeans were busted out.

Awareness

First time around, all I could think about was the baby growing inside me.

Second time, I suddenly catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and am surprised by the bump and have to remind myself I’m pregnant.

Expectations

First time around, I was so so naïve. I thought I’d sail blissfully through pregnancy with a wonderful glow. I was shocked when I was sick almost constantly for the first 20 or so weeks. I was shocked when my legs, feet, hands, fingers and everywhere else swelled to massive proportions nearing the end of my pregnancy. I was shocked when my birth plan went out of the window within minutes of arriving at the hospital. Essentially, I was totally unprepared.

Second time, I know what to expect and actually, it feels so much easier. So far. But I’m not under any illusions that come the third trimester I won’t be huge and exhausted and grumpy. But I’m prepared. I know what to expect this time.

Read the rest of the post at Selfish Mother, here.

here we go again!

👶 B A B Y • N O • 2 👶 If I’ve been a little quiet on here lately, this is why. I’ve been growing the baby boy’s little brother/sister. We’ve got to 20 weeks and finally the nausea is starting to wear off. If I thought being pregnant was tiring the first time around, I was totally unprepared for how tired I’d be with a toddler in tow. But we’re all so excited to welcome baby #2 to the family next spring! Any tips for #2under2 are much appreciated!! • • • • #preggers #knockedup #pregnancyannouncement #20weekspregnant #babyno2 #2under2club #pregnancylife

A post shared by Emily Taylor (@thetraineemum) on Oct 20, 2017 at 10:18am PDT

my breastfeeding story #celebratebreastfeeding

As it’s National Breastfeeding Celebration Week I figured that for once I might jump on the bandwagon and talk about my breastfeeding journey. It also seems fairly timely too that this weekend I will have been breastfeeding my baby boy for a whole year.

Before I continue I want to acknowledge that all too often conversations about breastfeeding descend into guilt, blame and judgement. Regardless of how you feed your baby, you’re doing the very best you can for your child. The problem for me is, that those mothers who want to breastfeed are not necessarily being enabled to do so (according to official figures, eight out of 10 women stop breastfeeding before they want to). And as a result, the UK now has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed before I even had children. While I was pregnant, I remember being asked by my midwife on numerous occasions who I intended to feed my baby and I always said that I wanted to try to breastfeed. I had many friends who wanted to breastfeed and for whatever reason – lack of support, tongue tie, etc – were unable to continue. I never felt confident that I would breastfeed but I knew I wanted to try. My reasons for wanting to try weren’t all that altruistic, yes, sure I knew it was good for the baby but also, it was free and quick – what can I say, I’m lazy and imagining being woken umpteen times a night sounded bloody awful, without having to also make up a bottle.

But I’ll be honest, I didn’t really give breastfeeding much more thought than that. And then suddenly after an exhausting induced labour, followed by an emergency caesarean, I had my baby boy in my arms and no clue what to do with him!

I was lucky and he latched fairly quickly – we just had a few tries and then we were away. It felt weird. So weird. And then within days, it hurt. So much. Coupled with a healing c-section wound, I felt utterly dejected. I remember feeling so uncomfortable in the final hot weeks of my pregnancy and eagerly looking forward to giving birth and suddenly getting my body back again. But that just didn’t happen. And I hated it.

It was hot and sticky and breastfeeding made me sweat more and I had a tiny little person attached to me for much of the day. My husband could only look on (and thank goodness that he had some time to himself while the baby fed – All. The. Bloody. Time!!).

For me, in the early days, breastfeeding felt lonely, painful and draining.

After chatting (read: breaking down) with the midwife 10 days in, I decided to set myself small, manageable targets. First, I would get to two weeks, then a month, then two. My mum kept telling me that one day soon I would look down and realise that I actually enjoyed it. I was incredulous. Enjoy it?! But she was right. About five or six weeks in and I looked down at this tiny little boy, feeding away happily and realised that not only did I enjoy it, I was beginning to love it. Even then, I felt that six months would be long enough.

Very nearly 12 months later and we’re still feeding. It’s down to one feed a day but neither of us is completely ready to give that feed up yet and I’m fine to wait a while.

The initial weaning at about seven months was my decision but it was based more on circumstance than emotion. I returned to work when the baby boy was eight months old and so knew that about a month before that I would need to start reducing his daytime feeding. I also got to a point where I could no longer face night time feeds. Since then we’ve been nursing first thing in the morning and at bedtime, but over the past couple of weeks we’ve dropped our morning feed.

I now feel as if I’m reaching a point where I wouldn’t mind if it came to an end. I’ll be sad not to have our quiet time together but I know we’ll still have cuddles.

There were many times that I nearly gave up in those early weeks, when my nipples were sore, when both the baby and I got thrust, when I was so tired and it felt like he’d never stop feeding. But now, a year on, I’m so glad I persevered.

can I take baby food on a flight as hand luggage? and other questions when flying with a baby

Ahead of our first flight with our baby boy, I had so many questions and reservations. This was our first trip abroad since the baby boy arrived nearly 10 and a half months ago. I was so nervous about our trip, I had no idea how the baby boy would cope with the flight, how I would fit everything in the suitcase, would I forget something vitally important, would we be able to do the things we usually enjoyed?

We had a wonderful holiday and didn't feel like we had to give up doing all of the things we used to enjoy. If anything, we did more and actually relaxed a little more too - due to the baby boy's bedtime. However, I did start writing this in our Airbnb in Copenhagen but like most things these days, I never had a chance to finish it.

1. First things first, if you are taking baby food in your hand luggage make sure that you separate out any pouches/jars. You'll need those that are over 100g and those under 100g, grouped separately. You can still take bigger amounts but you'll save time if they're not in a bag with smaller jars/pouches. (Learn from my mistake!!) When I checked online, it said that I could take enough for the journey. I actually took three meals worth and got through fine but they were Aldi pouches so I wouldn't have been heartbroken if I'd had to leave one behind.
2. Ask airline staff for extras. Our flight out was an evening flight so I fed the baby boy on take-off and he snoozed and fed in my arms for the entire flight. It wasn't until the flight home that the staff offered me pillows and blankets. Lesson learned, next time I will ask for these straight away. Worst case scenario, they don't have them but if they do, bonus!
3. A baby carrier is a must. On our way out we were able to keep our buggy until the gate but even then, it was invaluable being able to put the baby into the carrier to get on the aeroplane. And on our return journey, we had to check in the buggy with our suitcases, making the carrier even more of an essential.
4. If your little one if old enough, bring snacks and toys and anything else you can think of to entertain them. I think a flight is the one time you need to throw caution to the wind and use whatever tactics possible to make it as stress free for everyone involved. A shout out to SAS airlines who we flew with - they provided a lovely little picture book and soft toy for the baby boy to play with (and take home after) - such a nice touch.
5. Finally, don't stress out if your little one does cry or get upset or doesn't sleep. Our plan on the way out was for the baby boy to feed as we took off, sleep for the flight and then transfer to his buggy and he'd sleep again on the journey to our apartment. In reality, he slept for about half an hour and was awake for the rest of the time! But it was fine. We went with it and tried not to sweat it too much!

Anyone else got any tips for flying with little ones? We're flying with our little boy later in the year and this time I don't think he'll be quite so immobile which I think might be a little more of a challenge - any tips for that gratefully received!!

baby life: pre-baby vs post-baby Bank Holiday weekend

Bank Holidays are a little lot different since becoming parents. Where we would previously have taken advantage of the extra day or two off work and gone away, spent an extra day/night out, safe in the knowledge of an extra lie in, we now have no security of a lie in and so the long weekend looked rather different. This post by Hurrah for Gin sums it up, I think...

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, I would have woken up late on Friday morning. I would have languished in bed with my iPad - perusing social media. The hubby and I might have gone for a long leisurely brunch.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, we were woken at 6.30 to the sound of baby babble. The baby boy is a chatterbox! Followed by a breastfeed and then on with the day. Which included sitting in the car with my iPhone - perusing social media. While the baby boy slept. Followed by a walk and a quick coffee and cake before the baby boy got too restless. 

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, might have involved a boozy lunch, followed by an afternoon in a beer garden, or a walk with the hubby and a stop at a pub on the way home.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, and we celebrate getting through the day and bedtime with a G&T at home. Just the one. To be honest, I'm more likely to have another on a "school night" as a day in the office is less hard work these days!

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, we I would have enjoyed another lie in on Saturday morning. I'll be honest, the hubby isn't the best at lying in but he is good at bringing coffee and breakfast in bed! We might then have taken a day trip to explore a nearby town and have lunch out.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, wasn't too different! We didn't enjoy a lie in but I did have coffee brought to me in bed while giving the baby boy a breastfeed. We then took a walk in the park and spotted steam trains! Followed by lunch out.

Some things don't change... Dessert of dreams...!!

The baby boy had lots of fun playing on the vintage tractor at the lunch venue.

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, even getting dressed looked a lot different! I'd have been donning my glad rags in anticipation of catching up with my girlfriends over cocktails, or date night with the hubby. Maybe a jumpsuit with a pair of heels and statement earrings (oh how I dream of a big pair of statement earrings these days but I dare not wear them as the baby boy wants to grab everything!).

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, my attire is a little more practical - think wipe clean coated jeans (genius for mummies!!), a pair of trainers for running around after babies and the obligatory mummy-uniform striped top.

Pre-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, Easter Sunday would have been spent eating my body weight in chocolate eggs and then snoozing it off in the afternoon, followed by a trip to the pub or out for dinner.

Post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, Easter Sunday was spent eating a lot of chocolate (maybe not quite as much as previously) and then getting the baby boy to snooze in the afternoon, followed by some playtime and then dinner for the baby boy before bed. Then the hubby and I snoozed on the sofa before an early night!

Pre- or post-baby boy Bank Holiday weekend, the Monday night blues are still very real! We had such a lovely weekend with our little Easter bunny and makes going back to work so much harder. But it's only four days until the weekend again!

*Disclaimer: This post is an entry in a competition for the Next Blogger Network.

#3things: you need to host a mummy meet up

Having hosted the very last playdate with my mummy tribe and their babies before I head back to work, I thought I'd share the top tips I've learnt for hosting a successful mummy meet up.

1. Tea and coffee. It is a fact universally acknowledged that maternity leave everywhere is fuelled by tea/coffee and cake. Why? Because new mums are always knackered and in need of a caffeine pick-me-up and a sugar fix.
2. Snacks. See above. Mummies need cake. And biscuits. If you're invited to a mummy meet-up - make sure you take cake too. It is always appreciated.
3. A large play mat. Yep, I've not forgotten the babies here. You'll need a mat that's big enough for all of the babies to be laid down on - so that the mummies can have their hands free for those hot drinks and sweet treats!! We have two large play mats, perfect for this:

The Tiny Love Super Mat (left) is massive ( we got ours from eBay for less than a tenner!) and the Nuby play mat (right) has lots of interesting flaps and bits to keep the babies entertained (I picked it up in Aldi).

Anything I've forgotten?

style: the ankle boot edit

With all of the walking I have done since having the baby boy last summer, I've found myself lusting after sensible shoes - after years of filling my shoe rack with beautiful high heels. Now with winter truly here and the cold weather really biting, I've been living in my ankle boots.

These Clarks black ankle boots (above) were my sole pair. If in doubt, I will always choose black in clothes or shoes - they go with everything! These are a great height as they sit just where my skinny jeans finish.

Realising that I was wearing these boots all the time, I decided I needed a second pair. Obviously I wanted something slightly different but still sturdy enough to cope with all of the walking that I plan on doing. I decided that a pair of tan Chelsea style boots would fit the bill perfectly. On maternity leave pay, the Clarks version was not going to be an option. Instead, I found these excellent tan leather Chelsea boots from George at Asda for just £30!

If you are after a pair of ankle boots, I've found pairs to suit any budget:

Shop the post: Splurge tan Chelsea boots vs save tan Chelsea boots
Splurge black ankle boots vs save black ankle boots

#3things: ways to survive the night feeds

If you're the mother of a newborn baby, you'll be enjoying enduring the night feed. Whether you're breast or bottle feeding your new baby, they'll be sure to be demanding you're doing it at least once (and more likely a few times) during the night. After nearly six months of night feeds and no sign of them stopping anytime soon, I feel like a bit of an expert! So I thought I'd share what I've learned about surviving them:

1. Make yourself comfortable. Whether you're feeding your baby in bed or in their room, make sure you're comfortable and supported. I used to feed the baby in bed and used extra pillows to create a comfortable back rest. Now I feed in the nursery and use an Ikea chair (an older leather version of this) - so comfortable. In the early days I found a breastfeeding pillow really helped too.
2. Hydrate. You need to be drinking a lot of water when you're breastfeeding anyway. Remember to have a glass or two of water to hand during the night.
3. Grab your phone. Or Kindle. Or whatever it is that will keep you awake. Particularly in the very early days of night feeds I'd feel guilty for being on my phone but also terrified of falling asleep. Now I've got over both and I use the time to catch up on social media, emails and prep for the day ahead. I use the time to write lists of everything I need to do the next day. It helps me to stop going over that same list when I go back to sleep. Win, win. I'd love to be able to read on my Kindle during night feeds as I really miss reading a book but I just get so sleepy.

How do you survive the night feeds? What's your top tip?

#3things: the essential teething kit

The baby boy is five months old (where did that time go?) and he's definitely teething. In fact, he's been for weeks now.

He doesn't really cry about it too much - except a little at bedtime. But you can tell it's happening because he's gnawing on his fingers a lot and his cheeks are quite flushed most of the time too. Plus there's a lot of dribble - oh my, the amount of dribble!

Over the past few weeks I've put together my essential kit. Here are my top three things to tackle the terrors of teething:

1. Teething toys. We've got a couple of these - Max the Frog from MAM and Sophie La Girafe.  Sophie is a classic - go to any baby class and at least half of the babies will have a Sophie! Max is a new one for us but is definitely a favourite. His bright colour and small size make him especially appealing to the baby. 
2. Dribble bibs. Self explanatory really. We go through up to five a day when it's really bad. We've got so many dribble bibs, from cheap multi packs to ones with a teething triangle incorporated. 
3. Teething gel. i use a lot of this (particularly at night when I'm tired and the baby has been up a few times already) and it does really seem to work. It makes my finger go numb so I'm guessing it does something to the baby's gums.

Otherwise, he's mainly using his fingers to gnaw on.

Have you found anything that works?

Disclosure: we were sent Max the Frog by MAM to try out. All views all our own.

20 thoughts my baby has at nap time

I can’t comment on anyone else’s bundle of joy but my bundle seems to delight in putting off nap time for as long as possible. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is what was going through his head at nap time….

1. Feeling pretty tired now. It’s been at least two hours since I got mummy up. After I’d woken her up at least every hour in the night. I don’t want her to get lonely in the night.
2. I’ll maybe give my eyes a rub. And yawn a bit. Might whinge a little too. Just so that mummy gets the idea that I’m tired.
3. But what’s this? She’s putting me in my cot? For a nap? Oh no. That’s not what’s happening mummy!
4. Well I might as well lie here for a few minutes. Let her think that I’m ready to go to sleep. In my cot. On my own. For the first time ever.
5. But no. She’s been gone just long enough to be sitting down with a hot drink now. Well more fool her. I’ll cry and she’ll come.
6. But wait, she did come but only to give me a kiss and a pat and to go again.
7. Well two can play this game. I can cry all day if I need to.
8. [some time later…] Yep she’s giving up. I can tell. I’m winning here.
9. Right, we’re out of the cot and back down with mummy. Result.

To find out what happens next, check out the rest of my post over at Selfish Mother.

baby shopping: shoulda put a fox on it

Any readers who follow me on Instagram will know that I am obsessed with all things fox related for the baby boy. It all began with this hat (above) that we were given by a friend. Which was followed by socks and then I found these leggings (below) earlier this week - from Nutmeg at Morrisons.

Like a woman possessed, I have scoured the internet for all things fox for babies - and there is a lot out there:

Shop this post: (clockwise from top left) That's Not My Fox board book; Fox stripe baby leggings; Fox jumper; Navy shawl collar fox cardigan; Fox print dress; Fox knitted dungarees; Fox embroidered dress; Jersey fox dungaree set; and Fox socks.

five truths about having a new born

My baby boy is three and a half months old. Apparently this means that he is no longer a newborn. This makes me sad. But also makes me want to do a mini fist pump - I survived the fourth trimester!!

The passing of time got me thinking about a few things that I know to be true about having a newborn:

1. A new born (and an older baby) knows when you're about to eat and are suddenly hungry too.
2. The doorbell will always ring just as you get the baby to sleep.
3. They will be happy and content until you step into the shower or sit on the toilet and then suddenly they become a crying and screaming mess.
4. Yellow poo gets everywhere. Up the back. Up the front. All over you. Just as you're sitting with your bubba, both of you chilling out, you suddenly feel a rumbling and look down and see yellow poo all over them and you!
5. And on that note, you'll become obsessed with poo. You'll talk about poo to anyone who listens - the colour, the consistency, the regularity. You'll share photos of your baby's poo with your partner. You'll worry about how often your baby has a poo, what it looks like - everything. In essence, your life will become all about your baby's poo!

more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation

When I read this post about Why my maternity leave isn't a freaking vacation, it completely struck a chord. As the writer says:

If you have just grown an entire human being inside of your body and then it rudely exits and begins to cry for three months, you should not be further insulted by someone calling that three months of trying to keep that crying newborn alive, again, with your body, a freaking vacation.

I thought I'd add a few more reasons why maternity leave is NOT a vacation:

1. Money

Vacation = I would save up and have more money than usual so I can spend my days eating and drinking whatever and wherever I please

NOT a vacation = No money and living on beans on toast. Plus, on vacation I'm still being paid (on annual leave), on maternity leave I'm working 24/7 for next to no pay.

2. Shopping

Vacation = For me, a holiday often involves some retail therapy and buying new clothes. Checking out local market for local wares.

NOT a vacation = Spending what little money I have on nappies and baby wipes.

3. Accessories

Vacation = Wearing all the big hoops and dangly earrings I've saved for warm sunny days.

NOT a vacation = Having any hoop or dangly earrings ripped from my ears by tiny hands.

4. Iced drinks

Vacation = Lots of cooling iced drinks to combat the heat. Probably also accompanied by a mini umbrella!

NOT a vacation = A succession of cold teas and coffees that were made but never drunk due to a nappy needing a change or someone else wanting a feed!

5. Beauty routine

Vacation = Less make up due to holiday heat and tan. Less hair styling due to constant tips in the pool to cool off and then leaving it to tousle in a sexy manner.

NOT a vacation = Dark circles under my eyes and no make up due to the baby's constant need to be held and my lack of one handed make up application skills! As well as five day old hair that is now more dry shampoo than hair!

Don't misunderstand me, I am absolutely loving my maternity leave but, as the author of the original post says, it is definitely not a vacation.

why i was wrong when i said i didn't need mum friends

When I was pregnant I insisted that I didn't need any more friends.

My husband suggested we sign up for NCT classes to meet other expectant mums and dads. I wasn't keen. I already had enough friends and many of them were mums anyway. I didn't need any more friends.

My husband was persuaded not to sign up for NCT by the prices! I'd won. We weren't going to make any new friends. And I didn't need any more friends.

Or so I thought.

Then my baby arrived and I suddenly realised that I really really did need mum friends.

When you're a new mum, everything is scary and confusing. Having friends who are going through the same thing is such a relief. Having friends with whom you can share stories of explosive nappies and advice over cures for first colds helps make it all a little less daunting.

When you're a new mum to a tiny new human who needs feeding at all hours of the night, it feels like you're the only person in the world awake while everyone else is sleeping. Having friends who you can message at 3am and actually get a reply from, is comforting.

When you're a new mum, on maternity leave and at home all day on your own with a new baby, it is lonely. Having friends who you can call on for a coffee and a moan makes it all the more manageable.

Making new friends is scary at any age but when you're already in the throes of new motherhood, it can feel even more daunting.

Fast forward three months and I have a lovely circle of new (and old) mum friends.

You can read the rest of my post and how my mum friends have helped me during the past three months over at Selfish Mother.
SaveSave

shopping: alternative changing bags

Earlier this week, I posted about what I carry in my changing bag. I wrote that I wasn't keen on carrying a traditional changing bag, so I bought the Munchkin nappy change kit and used a bag I already had.

Clockwise from top left:

• The Storksak Ashley satchel is a stylish alternative to a traditional changing bag, as well as being a good option for mums or dads.
• Tiba and Marl are the go to brand for cool mamas for their brilliant change bags that don't look like change bags. The Elwood Backpack is a fabulous option - I love the metallic silver version.
• Another backpack, this time from Cath Kidston. This button spot changing rucksack offers mums a hands-free option with lots of pockets to stow all those things you need.
• The Fleet Street changing bag by Radley is the luxury option - this is definitely an investment purchase.
• If you want to use a bag you already own (as I have), you will need a mat. This change mat to go by Munchkin is a great option - in fact, you don't even necessarily need anything else!
• Another option to use with your own bag, or alone, is the Melobaby All-In-One Nappy Wallet and Change Mat.
• Finally, no one will know you're carrying a changing bag if you choose this leather look satchel by JoJo Maman Bébé.

what's in my changing bag?

Call me nosy but I've always loved a "what's in my bag" post - and now that I'm a mum, I enjoy the parent-friendly version, "what's in my changing bag". So I thought I would share the contents of my changing bag. I wasn't sure that I really wanted a traditional looking changing bag, so I'm currently using an H&M handbag I already had which had a waterproof lining. Later this week, I'll be posting some of the changing bags I've found that don't look like changing bags. For now, back to the contents of my bag:

• First up, nappies. Of course! I usually carry between three and six nappies - you never know! 
• Muslins are great for all manner of things - moping up, covering up, sun shade. I have at least two in my changing bag at any time - as well as a couple in every room of the house! The star muslin pictured is from Primark and the elephant one from Morrisons - I really like monochrome muslins.
• As I'm using a "normal" bag, I needed a change mat. I found this Munchkin nappy change kit in Aldi and it's great as it's got so a few pockets and a detachable change mat (see below for the contents).
• The Cath Kidston bag keeps some of the smaller bits I carry with me in one place - the contents are shown below.

• Baby wipes are essential for any parent. We're using these Water Wipes at the moment.
• I also carry nappy bags so that I can easily dispose of nappies. They also come in handy for soiled outfits!

• Inside me Cath Kidston bag, I carry sunscreen for both baby and me, a tinted lip balm (this is about as much make up as I manage to wear these days!), hand gel (in case there isn't anywhere to wash my hands after a change) and nail scissors.

• A spare outfit is essential - and used on a regular basis for us! The sunhat is left over from sunnier days this summer!
• I carry my purse - obviously!
• I also carry a notebook and pencil case so that when the baby boy and I are out during the day and stop for a coffee break, I can write some blog posts (or reminders!) to follow up later.

I've recently bought this carabiner clip from eBay to my pram - it's great for keeping things close at hand, like a bag, or an umbrella.

What do you carry in your changing bag? Anything I've missed?

everything i wanted to know about expressing

This week has been all about expressing on the blog this week (with reviews of two breast pumps earlier - Tommee Tippee here and MAM here). From the start of breastfeeding, I knew I wanted to try to express. Breastfeeding - particularly in the early days - can feel like a very lonely and all consuming task. As mum, your baby is totally dependent on you, which is very cool but also a little daunting and overwhelming. The idea of expressing and being able to share the feeding load really appealed. But I had so many questions! And I'm sure that if I was asking these questions, then I'm not alone. Most of the answers are either straight from my experience or from Google!! If you have any difference experiences, let me know how you've got on.

How long should I wait to start expressing?
I was told by a few midwives to wait until breastfeeding was established before starting to express and trying the baby with a bottle. But my health visitor was more encouraging and said to do it as soon as I wanted, if it meant that I would carry on breastfeeding. She wasn't quite as concerned about nipple confusion. I've read lots of things about this. Some people seem to start expressing right away, others wait. I waited six weeks. I mainly waited because I didn't have a breast pump and also because I did want to get in my groove with the breastfeeding. But I wouldn't leave it much later as I know some people who have then had problems getting their baby to take a bottle. Our baby was not keen the first time - we were using the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature bottles and he was having none of it. The next time, we tried the MAM anti colic bottles and he took it straight away - no problem at all. Or since.

Does expressing hurt?
I was really apprehensive about expressing because I was so scared about it hurting. From my personal experience, it really didn't hurt and it wasn't even uncomfortable. I'd just say, go for it - you won't know unless you try.

How much milk will I get?
I'd read lots about expressing and many people said that they didn't get much milk at all so this was an additional worry. But I managed to get a couple of ounces the first time I expressed and I've been able to get 3-4oz each time since. You can add milk to milk expressed on the same day, if you're unable to get enough for a feed in one sitting.

How much milk do I need for a feed?
This really confused me! How much milk will I need? As when you're breastfeeding you have no idea how much milk your baby is getting. This article on Kelly Mom answers all your questions!

Will my baby take a bottle?
There is so much written about nipple confusion or when to start expressing and babies not taking a bottle that I didn't know whether or not we'd have problems when we started trying. As it turned out, our baby really didn't like the first bottle we tried (the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature bottle) but we tried another (the MAM anti colic bottle) and this worked. My advice, then, would be to persevere and to try different bottles/teats.

Will it effect my milk supply?
I'll confess, this actually didn't spring to mind before I started expressing but I thought I'd include it for a bit of info. I have found a couple of times that I have been quite engorged if my hubby has given a bottle to the baby and I've missed a feed. The past week or so, my hubby has been giving the last feed of the evening so that I can get to bed early - all ready for a nighttime feed or two. But by the time I am awoken for a nighttime feed I have often leaked. To combat this, I have started to express a little before bed earlier in the evening.

How often will I need to pump?
This totally depends. If you're planning to only express very infrequently, I don't think it matters so much. But as I said in the last response, if you're expressing more regularly, it is good to get into a routine as your breasts will get used to it.

How do I store the milk I've expressed?
Storing breast milk worried me, so I was pleased to find this article on the NHS Choices website which explains how long you can store breast milk.

Do you have any other questions? If you want to know anything, just ask and I'll see what I can do.

review: MAM breast pump

It's Expressing Week on The trainee mum! Today I'm reviewing the MAM Manual Breast Pump which I've been trying out for the past week. I've already reviewed the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature manual breast pump and later in the week I am planning a post that answers all of the questions I had before I started expressing.

Comfort: the breast shield on this pump is very solid (I think I prefer the Tommee Tippee's flexible one for comfort) but this set does include nipple shields for if you do find it uncomfortable. So far I've not actually needed to use them.

Suction: the main bonus feature on this pump is the dial that allows you to change the amount of suction. You can start off with the very strongest setting to let your milk flow down and then turn it down if you find it a bit too strong. I keep it quiet strong and it is so fast. I haven't had an issue with getting a fairly good milk yield when I pump but it can take a while to get a good 3-4oz. With the MAM pump, I can get 3-4oz in about 20 minutes.

Cleaning and assembly: this pump disassembles into four pieces for cleaning. The handle is not intended to be sterilised (it doesn't come into contact with the milk) but it is a little tricky to get the handle off the pump section. If you're struggling, make sure you use some force (I wasn't using any and it wouldn't come apart!).

Accessories: the MAM Maternity Breastpump Pack includes
1 x Manual breast pump
1 x Sealing disc
1 x Cotton drawstring travel bag
1 x lid, teat, collar to make complete 160ml anti colic bottle
1 x pair of nipple shields
1 x pair of breast pads

The baby immediately took to the MAM bottles. The shape of the teat is so different to any I've seen before and it seems that for a breastfed baby, these are the most similar to a nipple.

Price: the MAM Maternity Breastpump Pack that I was sent is £38 at MAM but you can get the MAM Breastfeeding Starter Set for less than half price at Argos right now.

Verdict: I love this pump. The MAM manual breast pump is the best I've tried for a good portable pump. It is really fast and comfortable. It is perfect if, like me, you want to pump maybe once every day or every other day for one feed.

If you're not sure how to use a breast pump, check out this video:



Disclaimer: I was sent the MAM manual breast pump to try in exchange for an honest review. I have since bought two more MAM anti colic bottles as they have worked so well for our baby.

review: tommee tippee closer to nature manual breast pump

I've been trying out the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Manual Breast Pump for the past few weeks. When I first started breastfeeding the idea of expressing and the fact that I might be able to pass some of the feeds to someone else kept me going when it felt like the feeding was never ending.

I had so many questions about expressing and although I don't profess to be any sort of expert, I am planning a post that answers the questions I had. Today, though, is all about the Tommee Tippee pump.

I'll be reviewing the MAM manual breast pump later this week. Heck, I might as well name this Expressing Week on The trainee mum! So that you can properly compare I'm going to comment on the same criteria for both pumps.

Comfort: the breast shield is large and made from a flexible plastic that moves with the breast as you pump. This makes it really comfortable. I was so worried about pumping being really sore - I needn't have worried.

Suction: this pump offers pretty good suction with a good milk flow. It's not the fastest (check back in the week for my review of the MAM manual breast pump which is much faster).

Cleaning and assembly: the pump disassembles into four bits for cleaning and sterilising. The main pump section is pretty enclosed however and I have noticed that mine looks a little cloudy and you can't properly get inside it.

Accessories: the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature manual pump pack includes
1 x Manual Breast Pump
1 x Easi-vent 150 ml bottle
1 x Milk storage pot
6 x Disposable breast pads
1 x Microwave steriliser box

We don't have a microwave but the steriliser box has come in handy as a storage container.

Bottles: our baby really didn't get on with the Tommee Tippee bottles - or rather, the teats. They did seem really big and slippy and he couldn't seem to get a good latch.

Price: the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Manual Breast Pump is half price at Boots and Argos right now for just £14.99. It's a great price for anyone wanting to give breast pumping a go.

Verdict: if you want a portable and cheap breast pump to use occasionally, the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Manual Breast Pump is a good option.

Come back on Wednesday to read my review of the MAM manual breast pump and on Friday for a post which answers all of the questions I had when I first started expressing.

#3things: nobody told me about after giving birth

Nobody told me you can’t use toilet paper
Nobody told me that you bleed
Nobody told me you might need a secret place
where you can scream.

My mother in law gave me a book for my birthday (at 35 weeks pregnant) called Nobody Told Me, by Hollie McNish. Nobody Told Me chronicles three years and nine months of poet Hollie McNish’s life from finding out she was pregnant, through to becoming a mother. I've been reading the book in realtime - so at the stage that I'm at, as each time I've read on, it's started to freak me out!

If you're pregnant, you might be advised to look away now! There's probably a reason that nobody talks about this stuff until afterwards but to be honest, sometimes it's good to be prepared.

1. You'll be losing fluids. Think your waters breaking is a worry? Turns out that's nothing compared to what happens after giving birth. Make sure you stock up on maternity pads because however you give birth (vaginally or caesarean) you will bleed. And for the first few days, at least, it'll be pretty heavy. You'll also find that there is a whole lot of other fluid to get rid of from your body. My feet swelled up like balloons for a good few days - the best way to get rid of them was to sleep flat on my back with my feet raised up on a few pillows. Add on to that the night sweats - as well as your feet swelling, you'll be sweating out all of those fluids every night. Seriously, as if you didn't have enough to deal with after giving birth!
2. You'll still look pregnant. And you might feel like you're still in labour. For the first few days (at least) you'll still look about six months pregnant. And you'll continue to look pregnant for weeks afterwards. Unless you're a model and you snap straight back into shape within days. But who really does that? Six weeks later, I've returned to my pre-baby weight but still have a pretty sizeable bump! As your bump does start to go down, you'll feel contractions as your uterus begins to shrink back. If you're breastfeeding, these contractions will be most noticeable as you're feeding.
3. You will cry! A lot. The first 24-48 hours, you'll be on an adrenaline high (as well as high on whatever pain killers they're giving you) and will be feeling so elated over what you've done and the baby you've got. Then suddenly on the third day (usually when your milk comes in - whether you're breastfeeding or not) you will cry. You'll suddenly realise that you have a baby. And that you are responsible for this small person for the next 18 years - at least. And that will scare the **** out of you. I cried for two weeks, nearly constantly. The baby blues - as this period is known as - are so common that they are considered completely normal and are not to be confused with postnatal depression (PND). PND normally occurs four to eight weeks after giving birth but can start any time in the first year after giving birth. If you think you might be suffering from PND, you can find out more here.

What surprised you about after you'd given birth?